I'll Be Home for Christmas......or Dead.

Hello all,

Merry almost Christmas. I'm writing you today as my parents have gone to the first of two candle light services, I opted to stay at home, dodging bullets however I can. I am trying to avoid the holiday entirely by barely participating, it is not working out very well. I have half a bottle of rum saved for tomorrow when my mom's family comes, and I'll need every drop. Whenever my mom sees me with a drink in hand she looks at me and shakes her head as if I'm sniffing crack off the "davenport". Lady it's called a couch, nobody ever called it a "davenport". Geez...., but I digress.

Yesterday it took me 3 hours to get home from work. 3 HOURS!!! It normally takes me 25 min. Usually in a traffic jam, I yell something like, "There better be 8 dead bodies on the road!!!", but seeing as I was in no rush to get home I just relaxed into my iPod for a long winter's jam session. The longer I waited I started to realize how nobody was calling me. Not my family or my friends, nobody. I was in a wintery mix storm, and no one knew where I was! I could be DEAD! WHY IS NO ONE CHECKING TO SEE WHERE I AM?????

I got home at 8 and said "Hey, sooooo yeah, it took me 3 hours to get home today...." Mom was in the kitchen wrapping presents and Dad was on the computer.

Mom: "What time did you leave work?"

Me: "5."

"Oh, wow." Thoroughly unamused.

"But it's ok, I'm fine. Nooooo need to call me and see where I am."

"Well, if I call you you'll just get ticked off, and I don't want to be responsible for that."

"Uh, let's see...I was gone 2 1/2 hours longer than what I said I would and the weather is turning every road into the set of Cool Runnings 2. Yes, I would be fine if you called me to see where I am."