First Annual Anniversary Time for the Anniversary of the Rest of My Life ‘N Stuff

Hello all,

Isn’t that a funny title? I thought so. A year ago today I came home in shock, sat at my kitchen table in Pendleton, and waited until my parents got home. They looked at me like a broken puppy for half a second, Dad patted me on the shoulder, which was odd because we have a very strict “no touching” pact- I was too out of body to notice, and my ever sympathetic mother said, “Well, we were expecting you yesterday.” She’s……she’s……my mom.

So much has changed in a year, but some things haven’t at all. Fuckhead and I tried to start things back up again 4 maybe even 5 times, I’ve lost count. I still think about him all the time, what he’s doing, if he’s thinking of me, how he could possibly just drop everything between us and never look back. I have to stop myself from calling him every day. Not to worry, I realize that we could never go back and start over again, too much history and unfinished business, much too much to start over again. AND, fucking me over is one thing, but leaving my dear Graham with no remorse is cold. Don’t people stay together for the kids, bury their issues, and wait for better times? Isn’t that what a traditional marriage is? I watch a lot of TV, I’m pretty sure that’s what happens…..I digress.

A few days ago I also celebrated 5 months without drinking. With living at home, trying to meet someone to date, working at a superstore, and dealing with the over all stress of piecing together my life and personal goals, drinking would have a very important place in my life. It’s just not an option right now. Drinking made everything worse and now at the end of the day I come home, take a deep breath, and eat a giant bowl of fiber loaded cereal-I don’t know, somehow the cereal helps, with Silk of course. Who would have guessed that I’d become lactose intolerant? I love cheese! I used to sit with wheel of brie and have such a comforting experience. No cheese, no booze, I tell ya, I’m having to delve deep these days.

Speaking of drinking I have started the process of my probation, and the more I progress in my experience the better if gets. I set my community service and here’s how it went

Probation Officer: Well, we have lots of options for your community service so we can find a place that will be best suited for you.

Me: Oh! I thought I’d have to pick up garbage outside of a catholic church somewhere.

Probation Officer: No, no, no. Of course not there are lots of places in the community to give your time.

Me: Great.

Probation Officer: Alright, there’s the Humane Society, Goodwill, Animal Rescue, the Fine Arts Center…..

Me: Ooh, ooh, ooh! The Fine Arts Center! The Fine Arts Center! I have a BFA, that’s a bachelor’s of FINE ARTS. That would be perfect! I’m a ballet dancer, but I can also do things like answer phones, move paintings, other things….like that, I guess. That would be perfect! BUT, I would like the Humane Society. I love dogs! All the puppies, it’d be so much fun! I’m VERY good with animals.

Probation Officer:………….um, I think the Humane Society and Animal Rescue would be more like, “cleaning up” and stuff.

Me: Oh. Well, it’s probably for the best. Although I do like dogs, I am allergic to cats, and I have a dog at home, whom I don’t see as often as I should and I would project guilt on his behalf.

I nervously laughed as the probation officer marked me down for the Fine Arts Center and advised me to get my drug and mental analysis as soon as possible.

AAAAAAAAND, this is my 100th post! I know! That's a lot. Can you believe it 100 posts. You have read about 100 things that happened in my life....maybe you should get out more often. NO, NO, NO! I take it back! If you don't read my blog I die! I need your attention!!!! Happy Anniversary.