Foreign Thoughts

Hello all,

I never realized it before, but even in Indianapolis, I live in an integrated society. I grew up in Indiana but I never even had a conversation with a black person until I was in college. It’s not that I avoided people of color, I just never saw any. It took me a few months not to say things like, “What color is your tongue?”, “So what do you do for Christmas?”, or “Can I touch your hair?” I wasn’t racist, I was just curious. Now I talk to people of various ethnicities and rarely ever notice their color, speech, though, still makes me giggle a little.

I was walking through the kitchen in the restaurant where I work and one of the kitchen guys was chugging a small cup of soup. It didn’t bother me that he was eating in the kitchen; I’ve seen way worse stuff happen around that stove. This particular cook fooled me the first few times we talked, he knew how to say “Hello” and “How are you?” with no trace of an accent. I would proceed with more complex questions and he had no idea what I was talking about. Well, after he was done with his soup as I walked by, I raised an eyebrow and he called after me, “Noah!! I have hungry!!!” He he.

At my other job, I was ringing in between a Chinese lady and an Indian man, English is not the native tongue to either. They were talking to eachother about God knows what and it kept a smile on my face for 15 minutes. They could have been talking about business or the weather, but I don’t think either of them carried one point from the other into their next statement. I experienced this while I was in New York, 2 foreign people trying use a English as a common bond. It’s like listening to 7 year olds talk about sex; neither of them quite knows exactly how to master the subject but the misunderstood understanding makes them both proud.

Later in the day a crazy man came through my lane. He looked perfectly fine, like the cutest kind of guy you could see changing your oil, but would never actually hook up with. Anyways, he came up to me and yelled,

Crazy: “How are you?” (said in Spanish, which I will not misspell)

Me: “Good!” (also in Spanish)

Crazy: “mnjhsfduhfuwe ,dua jfua hgug”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. That’s all the Spanish I know.”

Crazy: “That’s a’iet!”

Me: “I took 8 years for German.”

Crazy: “German? Oh, German! Yeah, you know what they say in German? Fuck You!!!”

Me: “……………………”

Crazy: “FUCK YOU!!!!! Ha!!!”

Me: “……….um I’m good thanks.”

Crazy: “Huh, are you Jewish?”

Me: “No, Lutheran.”

Crazy: “Lutheran, huh, like them protestants and shit?”

Me: “The very ones.”

Crazy: “Huh, they gotta lotta people from over there, like Hitler.”

Me: “Yes, Hitler was in fact from Germany.”

Crazy: “And you know who else came from up there, that John guy, yeah, John.”

Me: “Ah, yes, well…. have a good day.”

Crazy: “Yeah, uh, how do you say goodbye in Germany?”

Me: “Aufwiedersein.”

Crazy: “Wha? Well, Offverseyn, or shit ha ha!”

Me: “Uhhm, bye.”

As he left I looked over at the next cashier, who reminds me of an Indian Kelly Kapowski, and mouthed, “OMIGOD!!!!” I don’t think she knew what I mouthed but she was as enthusiastic about the crazy man as I was.