Same Ol', Same Ol'

Hello all,

Since the my parents computer at home sounds like it has hamsters playing sloppy catch with lug nuts in it, I am at the Pendleton Library, or as they say in Virginia, "Liberry". Seriously, they did, one more factor that contributed to my undoing. Being surrounded by people, who for the most part speak correctly, is a luxury I have rarely been awarded. In high school I was constantly battling with my dad who puts an "R" in wash. The president lives in WaRshington D. C., sometimes the waRsher breaks and we have to wait to waRsh our clothes. It's odd, if someone from Boston adds an "R" to the end of idea, it's somewhat humorous, this is a different story. But, what are ya gonna do?

Anyways, I have been talking to Fuckhead recently....I know, don't roll your eyes at me. After his birthday, I wanted to get my things back. In the beginning of our relationship I would always give him something of mine that was very special to me, something that I wanted to see every day. Being the youngest child I am very possessive, so naturally I would look for what I gave him, but if he had it I knew I would think about him too ( and not only cause he had my stuff). Well, we continued this tradition for quite some time. And with my things that he still has, he said that if he gave them up than he would be letting go of something he wasn't ready to do yet.

I know what you're thinking, "Noah, he lives in a different state!, Noah, he fucked you over many times...times, PLURAL!, Noah, he's a ballless chode who is just messing with you so he can feel better!" I know, I know all of this. But, if I didn't give him a sporting chance, I wouldn't be able to feel like the better person at the end of the day. And although I am not sleeping well as a result of our awful conversations on the phone, in the deepest part of my soul, I feel like a better person. Tis better to have loved and gotten fucked over and tried to get back together numerous times and sold parts of your soul to a small addiction to vodka and lost than to have never loved at all............or something like that, no?

After a very harrowing conversation with my knight in shinning Fuckhead, I received a text message from a number to which I had not saved the name.

"i miss you...grrr"

It was just what I needed. Fuckhead clearly does not miss me enough and I'm awesome. Think about how awesome I must be if a person I don't even know misses me and follows it with a tawdry "grrr"! Though when you think about it, "grrr" is a little weird. I responded:

Me: "What do you mean by grrr?"

Him: "U diss like and it makes me go grr, sorry"

What the hell does that mean?!?!? I was puzzled for a solid 3 min. before I wrote back:

Me: "What are you smoking? I have no idea what you are talking about."

Him: "I don't smoke anything....u blew me off and it bothers me..."

Still having no clue who this person was, "blew" suddenly became a very ambiguous word. Did I know him and stop talking to him? Did I not know him and walk away? Did we meet in the bathroom? No clue.

Me: "Why are you telling me this?"

Him: "because i miss u silly..."

"Silly"? Seriously? Huh. I was trying to pull some facts out of him but he was a tough nut.

Me: "Miss is an awfully strong word."

Him: "ok... sorry to bother you then...."

Me: "That's ok."

Was that it? How would I find out who this was? Who missed me so much? A couple of weeks ago, when Mr. Lives-with-Grandma wouldn't leave me alone, I deleted his name out of my phone and when he called me back and wanted to talk I fed him a good line, so I used it again.

Me: "I'm sorry. I just cleared numbers out of my phone. I thought I'd be able to tell who this was by but you were saying but I'm still not sure."

Him: " nevermind NOAH.....wow....."

Me: "Alrighty then."

I imagine that it was Mr. Lives-with-Grandma again. We only talked for 2 days! One of two things is true; I make quite an impression or his life sucks hard. Maybe both are true.