New Leaf, I Swear........Probably.

Hello All,

So yeah, that last post was an angry one. I'm fine-ish though. From what I can gather by Fuckhead's esoteric messages, I will be getting back my things after Thanksgiving.

I don't mean to make my blog a journal or diary of my life but writing on it is kind of like talking to a dog. You can say anything you want and project what response you want the instant it is written. I know my dog has no idea what's specifically happening to me but he's the best listener ever and those adorable brown eyes are going to hurt whatever dating life lies ahead of me cause no man will have the insightful gaze of my little guy. Mr. Wonderful good luck, come and find me.

I kind of want to date now, cause the performer in me really needs the attention, but as I wander around my parents living room I wonder why I don't meet more eligible bachelors just dripping from the walls. Oh that's right, cause they are clearly at the farm down the road. Can you imagine, me and a ruggedly handsome farmer who is also a financial banker/doctor with a love of classical art and pop culture, who also really wants me to stay at home in one of his 4 houses world wide and focus on being awesome. That would be awesome. If any of you 5 people who read my blog are holdin' out on me and not hooking me up with Mr. Wonderful, may my mom and Oprah's God strike you dead.

On a spiritual note: I used to live by the motto, "Go big, or go home", well look where that got me. I know many of you will stop reading my blog as I write this but stay with me and I'll hammer it out. I was watching Evan Almighty(don't laugh) with the 'rents the other night a line struck me the right way(don't judge me),

"When you ask God for courage, do you think he gives you courage? Or does he give you an opportunity to be courageous?"

Now from what I gather, I don't believe in spirituality, I choose to believe in me. "God" is the projection of people in need, enabling them to surrender problems that they can not change in the moment and know that things work themselves out or it becomes unimportant. This line will become my new motto for a few reasons:

1. Morgan Freeman said it and it sounded amazing. Seriously, watch the end of The Shawshank Redemption. He has that monologue about birds in cages, it's like a whole religion in 55 seconds.

2. I really need to start making my life my own. I gave up so many of my ambitions to Fuckhead and adopted his as my own. But he left me and I had no reason to keep moving forward. This is my opportunity to move forward for myself.

This is a revelation that I had while telling Mom to have more respect for other people in the room while she hemmed and hawed over every state that Obama won last night. Geez lady, have a little respect for "the black", as she said, that will be cleaning up the last 8 years that you voted for, twice.