Too Damn Early

Hello all,

I have seriously only been awake for 9 min. I got up and came outside and stood in the sun room where we put the lights on the tree yesterday.

Mom: "Graham says that we should put the ornaments on the tree today, he, he!"

Me: "......what?"

"He, he, he Graham said that we should put the ornaments on the tree today."

"No he didn't."

"Yes he did, after he ate his food, he ran through the living room and said that we should put the ornaments on the tree."

"Well, Spike(my parents dog) said that it's too damn early to put a Christmas tree up and if you want to put the ornaments on the tree you should freakin' do it yourself."

I hate when people talk through animals. Fuckhead and I did it for like a year and a half as a way to diffuse our aggression with eachother. I'm going to go ahead and say, if you get a dog and you start talking through it in a messed up voice to be cute; get rid of that dog immediately, or the boyfriend.

I love the movie White Christmas, but as I type and breathe, Mom has turned on the movie in an effort to draw me away from the computer. I know your tricks, woman. I will play your game and adorn your tree, but in return you shall fill my gas tank and I will secretly drink you craptacular wine selection. Merry effing Christmas.