Choking Strangers

Hello all,

Holy shit. I sit here after a 9 1/2 hour work day, which seemed like a 507 hour work day, after I waited 45 minutes for the God damn computer to start, while my parents watch P.S. I Love You on our free weekend of HBO movies. It's the part of the movie where Judy Garland is singing "The Man That Got Away", previously one of my favorite songs, now it makes me want to claw the skin off of my own face.

Christ on a stick, was it an awful day!

I really wasn't feeling work anyways but the very first customer I had set the pace for the entire day. I was in the express lane and we had finished the transaction and I was just waiting for her to take her receipt. I stood there with it outreached in my left hand while I started ringing the next customers things with my right. I had no angry look upon my face, I had no reason, I was perfectly content. Out of nowhere, homegirl throws her bags in her cart and says, "God, I'm sure glad you start ringing the next person when I'm not even gone yet!"

Now, I watch a lot of television and I have a problem with answering assholes with the accuracy that the average person dreams of....it's a gift. So naturally, after I recoiled my furrowed brow I said, "Good!"

"What did you say?" said the bitch. Here's where I should have said nothing or "Have a good day" but instead, as if I were talking to a retarded person from Peru I said "GOOD!!" and I craned my neck as if I were the missing friend from 227. "*Scoff*, Well, I'm going to go talk to your manager!!", said the bitch. "That'd be great!! You can find him right over there!!" I said.

I felt bad for about 5 seconds. We get a lot of bitches at my store, so naturally my manager had nothing to say about it. It just ruined my day.

Later on I asked some handsome frat-looking guy who was buying wine with his girlfriend if he wanted to come over to my lane, because I was empty. He said, "You 21, son?" "Yeah, are you?" I said. I looked at his ID and I said "I'm a whole year older than you, sonny." His nice friendly girlfriend laughed at the whole thing, but than dick-wad chimed in and said, "You're not being very nice!" And he was dead serious. I hope he gets the clap. After the day I had I decided not to talk to him anymore and let go away with a simple nod and big ol' fake smile.

My last customer was this old man who grunted at me. Charming. After I told him his total he said, "Do take American money?" I looked up, ready to give him the look he deserved, but I could tell from the twinkle in his eye that he was a nice person who was just kidding and having a good time. "We just started last week." I said. He laughed and said, "Well that's good cause it's all I got." As he counted his money in my hand, he referred to his change as a quarter and two coppers to make 27 cents. He was like some cute old Disney grandpa. Charming, actually charming, and that's saying a lot, I don't like old people. As I said goodbye to him, he looked me straight in the eyes and said, " I hope you have a great life."

I was so genuinely flattered and bemused by his words that I didn't know how to respond. I just said, "Thank you, I hope you do too." He gave me a quick one over and said, "No no really, I hope you have a fabulous rest of your life." smiled and left. How nice is that? A perfectly straight man who can say fabulous and not sound gay. If It weren't for that nice man I probably would have choked the next asshole I saw.